Couples Counseling for Lifestyle Differences

Couples Counseling for Lifestyle Differences

"Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love. I rose in it."

Toni Morrison Jazz 


Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Coming together and creating a life is what a relationships is all about. Figuring out what makes your partner tick is so intriguing and fun. Compromise makes the relationship challenging and interesting. Most lifestyle differences are easy to combine. But when they are not; it is almost impossible to get through the day to day.

There are two basic beliefs about the responsibilities of intimate partners. One school of thought is that we bring all of our problems to the relationship. Through hard work together, we both come out the other side better and the relationship stronger than before. The opposite school of thought is that we come to the relationship with our best selves. We do not rely on each other to fixe the wounds of those before and we actively remove personal issues from the relationship. Therefore, the relationship is separate from other things that may get in the way of the experience. Neither belief is wrong.

How do you and your partner approach the relationship? That's the most important thing. Lifestyle is defined as the way in which a person chooses to live their life. To put more of a point to it, someone's lifestyle is a mix of both the tangible and the intangible. A blend of learned habits, reactions to internal factors and a lifetime of experiences. More importantly, someone's lifestyle is typically closely held and relied upon as part of what defines them as a person.

If you and your partner are struggling with lifestyle clashes marriage/couples counseling can help you get on the same page.

Counseling SDC offers short term and longer-term solutions to tackle any scale of difference. Bridge the gap between you and your partner with counseling support from a clinician with Counseling SDC.

Some Example Lifestyles:

Healthy Living Commitment Level

Work Commitment Level

Family Commitment Level

Living Conditions

Nomadic - Frequent Traveling / Moving

Desired levels of privacy

Non-monogamous Commitment

Example Lifestyle Difference Couple:

Susie values money and experiences a very demanding lifestyle with work and projects aimed at making the most money she can. She might be busy with meetings, networking or planning at any given time and does not keep "business hours".

Oppositely, Ross, is someone who values relationships with others over money. He also has a demanding lifestyle, but in a totally different way. Filled with family activities and running errands with them. He has a lot of friends who love him and demand his attention.

Susie and Ross find intimacy, understanding and love with each other but find their lifestyles are often at odds. When Ross makes time for a date and Susie cannot make it due to a large project. Both are upset, and they are both right.

Marriage/Couples counseling can de-mystify this process and create space for healing and love. Through engagement with the counseling process, both partners will learn what it takes to maintain their commitment and be the partner they want to be.